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Blessed Bees * last updated May 3, 2000

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My Coven
by Melissa Oringer
(c) Melissa Oringer, 1999-2000, All rights reserved

[The following was a questionaire posited among NROOGD elders; my NROOGD coven is Darkstar, to which I refer in the post.]

>What is a coven? Does it mainly encompass the "workings" of
>Witches? Does it perform therapy? Is it a support group? Is it a
>circle of your best friends? Is it more, and, if so, what?

Melissa's general definition of a coven:

A coven is a collective of people who agree to work together to do the following:

  1. Engage the Gods
  2. Work magick
  3. Agree upon common symbols and tools in order to accomplish 1 and 2

Further than that depends on so many factors that I wouldn't include it in the general definition of a coven. So:

Melissa's *personal* definition of a coven:

The above, plus:

  1. Commit to developing a shared relationship in the sense of an extended family.

It's a hard process that requires a certain level of commitment, an ability to risk and trust, and sheer stubbornness. I've found it to be worth the effort. Others may not. I've found that the perspective held in my coven has colored the way I met and interacted with folks in NROOGD, giving me the feeling of an even larger extended family. Our magick with ourselves and with the Gods is powerful, and we have an intuitive grasp of each others' strengths and weaknesses. Knowing that the folks in the coven not only *know* your weaknesses but love you anyway is an enormous boost in coven space :) Also, it wasn't love handed on a platter. It's rooted in truth and time and experience of each other.

>If you could have it any way you want it, what then, in your
>opinion, is the "ideal" coven? How does that differ from your
>coven experience presently? Using your ideal as a mock-up
>what steps or processes would be needed to create that ideal
>as a possible reality? What works and what doesn't work in
>"so-called" reality? What is the purpose of YOUR coven for you,
>as well as, for the group?

I don't think there is an "ideal" coven, but I do prefer Darkstar or I wouldn't be there (g). Some key steps in developing the family relationship, based on my experience with Darkstar:

  1. Eat dinner together before getting down to business
  2. Laugh together
  3. Be the best kind of friends: honest, direct and affectionate
  4. It helps if folks have a modality in common (for example, Darkstar is rather musically inclined and our meetings are filled with it. This carries over into theater or drama or poetry as well for the folks who can't sing or play)

>How do you edit a coven's members? How do you create
>policy? How do you resolve conflict within your coven? What
>would, or could, keep your coven running even in your

Standard for us: prospective member circles with us. Next time, we talk about them. We either do or do not invite them back and they either do or do not return. Should they continue, they have a probationary period of 3 months where we feel each other out and at that time we vote.


(c) Melissa Oringer, 1999-2000, All rights reserved

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